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Beau and Arrow – BEA Blues

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

The wedding was insanely fun. When the music finally shut down at 1 AM, there were about 100 people on the dance floor who would have stayed on for hours more. My oldest niece is officially a Mrs., and I am well on my way to becoming the youngest great-aunt in Brooklyn. (I wonder how I can find that out…)

On an oppositely, bluesy (sorry for all the blues) note, I missed BEA. I practically passed out on the F train on the way to the Javits Center on Wednesday morning, and had to hail a cab to take me home ASAP. I had been looking forward to BEA since my interview for this internship position, and it all came to a skidding and screeching F train halt. My coworkers at Beaufort collected a whole bunch of books, and offered to share them. While this was quite generous, and definitely made me feel better, I’m still totally bummed about missing the publishing event of the season. Not cool.

My parents glued me to the couch so that I would feel well enough to attend my graduation the following morning. Luckily, I was feeling much better and headed out to Brooklyn College, my parents and brother in tow. The experience surpassed all expectations (if you’ve read my previous blogs, I had little hope for an exciting commencement). 2,250 graduates decked in maroon caps and gowns filed out of the encircling buildings and onto the quad. Marty Markowitz, Brooklyn Borough President, gave a hilarious and boisterous speech, reigniting my love for my borough and its college. There were also 100 graduates from the Brooklyn College class of 1960 who joined us, which had my mother bawling in tears. Actually, my brother noted that from the moment the ceremony started until it ended, my mother was crying. This came as no surprise to me because my mother is famously known for crying from the Price is Right (“Look how happy they are!”). Speaking of tears, Don Lemon of CNN ended up being such a cutie. He too, could not help from break out in emotional sobs during his speech, in which he spoke about the course of his life and how he didn’t get a chance to go to his own graduation. A truly sincere and uplifting speaker who said he started from nothing and worked his way up to success. Screw Sapphire! (But really don’t, because she’s awesome).

My Memorial Weekend was pretty memorable, slipping back into the comforts of summer days and nights. My freckles are now adundant. The 10 or so children who stayed over did not remove themselves from the swimming pool. And the policemen who wait on my street corner waiting for people to go down my one way street the wrong way seem to have gotten a new set of wheels straight out of Pimp My Ride. Ah, summer.

Book news: I’m in the middle of Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, which has been on the New York Times bestseller list for about 4 million weeks. Having already read Blink, Freakonomics and taken a handful of Psychology classes, a lot of what I’m reading is a sort of review, but still fascinating nonetheless. As with Blink, the tone is enjoyable but I am not completely convinced.

I was however convinced to get a Twitter account.

Oh! My grandma told me last night that it’s possible to get artifical dimples. How strange/rude? As a bearer of two (or more) sunken spots in my cheek, I felt a little cheated. Ooft.

Till next week,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Bad Book, Good Book

Monday, May 24th, 2010

This past week an overwhelming sigh of relief cast over me as I realized one of the greatest benefits post-college life will offer: I can now read for pleasure.

For the past four years, my weekly Friday night readings consisted of a mountain of required reading books, booklets, textbooks,workshop pieces, research books…you get it. A lot of books that were not my choice. This forced me to read a whole lot of stuff I would never have picked up otherwise, both a good thing and a bad thing. That’s not to say I never had a chance to read for pleasure, but the moments were rare and difficult to come by considering the whole Creative Writing major thing = an English major with some extra writing. Anyways, I arrived at the Jersey shore last week for the Jewish holidays and realized I had nothing to read.

Bad Book:
My sister gave me a book she hadn’t read, but one which she said people loved, and three local book clubs were covering. Three book clubs?! I was willing to give it a chance. I can safely say it was one of the worst books I ever read, making the recently-criticized Little Bee look like a literary masterpiece. The bad book was A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick. It was obscenely sexual, to the point where I might call it pornographic, and that would maybe have been okay if the plotline was any good, except it really really wasn’t.  I am dying to spoil the ending, but it just doesn’t seem like the moral thing to do. Here’s the gist – The year is 1907 and a rich, lonely man puts an ad in the paper to find a wife. A woman responds saying she is a “reliable, honest woman” and they get married. The woman is far from reliable or honest and she wants to poison him and take him for all he’s worth. It sounds exciting, maybe mysterious, but the twists and turns are so bizarre (again, I really wish I could tell you them here), that I wondered whether the author knew what was going to happen before it was written. Why? Whyyy do people make bestsellers out of terrible books? I need to understand this concept. Help me! And please, help yourself, and STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK. Or read it, and let me know what all the fuss is about. It’s an enigma to me.

I’m realizing I did not do a good enough job showing how terrible it was, so I’ll give one spoiler, and just promise me you won’t tell me who won Celebrity Apprentice. The “reliable wife” sleeps with her husband’s estranged bastard child she is secretly planning to live with after the murder. Oh, and she’s a prostitute. And the husband ends up finding out that she’s poisoning him, only he’s fallen so madly in love with her, that he knowingly ingests the arsenic to make her happy. It was more spoilers than I had planned but you really shouldn’t read it!

Good book:
After surviving through the bad book, I scanned through the bookcase for something a bit different. I landed on a section of books by Harlan Coben, a very well-known thriller writer, with a handful of bestsellers, none of which I ever had a chance to read. I chose one at random, and by page 6 I was completely hooked. The difference in measure of entertainment, quality of writing and overall readability was so immense, I was proud to be working in publishing again. The book is called Gone For Good, and you should definitely pick it up if you have never read any Harlan Coben books, or even if you have. I have five pages left, but I can safely say this will not be the last of his books that I read. I’m already a fan. I wonder now, if I would love it as much if it didn’t follow such a terrible book. Hmm…

BEA is tomorrow!!! I hope to bring back lots of good stories.

3 days until graduation! Almost forgot to tell you, just found out that Don Lemon of CNN is speaking! It’s not Alec Baldwin, but I’ll take it! P.S. I heard he was a boring speaker anyway. The master’s graduation is getting Sapphire (as in Push, as in one of the best required readings I had in college, as in the movie Precious with award-winning Gibourney Sidibe, as in why did this have to be the first year Brooklyn College decided to split up the two graduations!?)

Due to BEA and the impending niece nuptials, there won’t be a blog until June 2nd! Time flies when you have a million and one things to do…

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Pre-Grad Blues

Monday, May 17th, 2010

10 days away from graduation, and I’m really feeling down in the dumps.

For four years when people asked me “What do you do?” I was comfortable, and proud to say, I was a Brooklyn College student. I used my scholarship as an excuse to stay on for 4 years, even though I’m graduating with tons of extra credits. I have two mini-papers due this week and then I’m done for good. The fact that they’re the last two papers I’ll ever write as a Brooklyn College student is just another reason I’ve been pushing them off. The point is…I’m depressed! Suddenly, I am being thrust into the world of a 9-5 workweek, the hustle and bustle of New York city transit, and the struggle to find a career to suit my future. I sooo want to crawl into a ball and hide away in Jersey for a while – which is the plan!

In other news, I went to a date auction last night, Saved By The Bell style. Auctioning off people for charity is much more hilarious than you would think. I didn’t win any dates, but my niece did. Not the one that’s getting married, obviously. By the way, that wedding is in 2 weeks! My bridesmaid sneakers are ready to go.

Other other news: BEA is next week!!!! Book Expo America is one of the biggest publishing exhibitions in the world, and it takes place at the Javits Center May 26-27. Lots of free books, and you get to see your favorite blogger in real 3-D (unlike Iron Man 2, which I saw in IMAX and was unimpressed with the difference in movie quality. If it’s not 3-D, it’s not worth the extra 5 bucks.  The movie itself was fun though!). Hope to see you there!

Happy Holidays to my fellow Jews!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Salinger and Allergy

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

Remember my downtown book club? I went last night. We discussed the works of the recently deceased J.D. Salinger of Catcher in the Rye fame. What I always loved about Salinger is that he’s so in-your-face. There’s no pretty words for the sake of seeming pretty. Everything is deliberate – full of angst, power and authenticity. The authenticity is perhaps the most interesting characteristic in that this epitomizes the themes so often mentioned in Salinger’s works – finding real, genuine people in the society at large. Last night we discussed the pureness of children, and how their candor is absent in adults. When I’m with my nieces and nephews, I know they’re never holding anything back. And for me, this quality is something I always look for in the people around me –  not rude honesty, but just genuineness in nature. What we mentioned last night is the sort of paradox present in that everyone is looking for genuine people in their lives…so if everyone is looking, then why isn’t everyone genuine? A question to ponder. Also, now that J.D. Salinger is dead there is a good chance we may be blessed with more of his works going into print (he’s been in hibernation for like, 50 years, maybe more). We likened this rumor to the one about the iPhone coming out in Verizon. Hopeful possibilities…

Anywho. Why isn’t it blasting all over the news that people everywhere are sick with a cold in mid-May? I’ve spoken to and heard about dozens of people who have suddenly been struck with allergies they never had before. Something occurred this past Saturday and I think experts need to find out what is going on because I am officially breathing in more pollen than oxygen. Is this a conspiracy theory? Why aren’t more people talking about this?

Tomorrow is my last day of Brooklyn College. Ever.

Whoaaaaa

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – googlegoolegoogle

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

What can I say, Google is everywhere and everything, ahead of the game even after the game has already started. A recent announcement by Google stated that by this summer they will be offering online books that can be bought and downloaded to any e-book device and any internet browser. Its called Google Editions, and people, this is HUGE. Not just for e-book readers, but for publishers like us, and readers like you. Even non-readers like you, because now you can buy the e-version of a book straight to your home computer or handheld device, giving you less excuses as to why you can’t read. Google is always coming out with ways to make even Mr. Midas Jobs shake. iPad, Kindle, Nook? See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Wouldn’t exactly wanna be me either…I have a terrible cold and cough and it’s the beginning of May. Do I automatically assume allergies (of which I never had)? Or do I blame the F-train/my nephew who was sneezing on me/not wearing socks to sleep? You know it’s bad when you need NyQuil. Oh, NyQuil, your drug is my love (I <3 Kesha).

I’ve been holding out on my connections list. I saw Miranda from Sex and the City a few weeks ago and I didn’t even tell you. She was in the city. Predictable…I’m also pretty sure I was just with someone famous in the elevator. Rocker dude type. He was talking to other people in the elevator about writing a song for some album, and he’s going to playing with Sheila E. next week, who apparently once played with Prince. It is officially my goal for the remainder of my time at Beaufort to figure out who this guy is.

Speaking of my time at Beaufort, I have great news. I will be here for an extra month! Your favorite blogger just extended until mid-June. A big deal.

THIS JUST IN: I asked Margot who the guy is and she doesn’t know, BUT, lo and behold, there is a famous acupuncturist on my floor who apparently has A-list clientele. Margot said she’s seen an Olsen twin, and Elizabeth Berkely (Jesse from Saved by the Bell) in the elevator, and Charlie, another co-worked spoke to Sting for like a block! I will be lingering in the hallway from now on. This is bigger news than the Google Editions (times like, a thousand??).

I’ll be sure to remember you all when I become famous.

Or maybe only those who comment.

Yes, that’s a blogging threat.

Comment!

Please comment?

I’ll mention you in my blog if you comment.

I’m outty,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Things I Miss

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

1) Conan O’ Brien

2) Football

There’s no one like Conan O’Brien who can put me to sleep in a happier mood. I just read the script for his interview on 60 Minutes, and I was literally laughing out loud. He joked about his new TBS show saying, “My own show again! I just can’t wait to have my own show again. I’d even take a primetime show that’s on at 10; anything to have my own show again,”  taking a nice jab at Jay Leno’s disastrous 10 PM show, a guy he hasn’t spoken to since the Tonight Show debacle began. “Coco” proved to be a stand-up guy through the whole NBC fight, and when he cried during his last taping, I wanted to travel through my plasma screen and give him a comforting hug. Looks like TBS just recruited another faithful fan.

Football is still months away, and I miss it terribly. During my rainy Sunday writing my thesis paper, I was wishing I could wander my eyes over to some solid Manning pigskin. I know nothing about the NFL draft, but I decided I don’t have to. As a female, I reserve my right to not take part in every aspect of the sport. If I need some filling in, there’s always ESPN. Speaking of which, I watched the Kentucky Derby this weekend. Kind of felt like I was watching a foreign country. Did you know they have their own anthem?! I still don’t understand the whole hat thing.

Other stuff:
-The bomb scare in Times Square wasn’t very scary.
-A gorgeous new prison was just built in Norway for $252 million, include sporting facilities, cooking classes, and hotel-quality bedrooms with no bars. It will be housing murderers, rapists, etc.
-I love Buzz Lightyear and everything, but I have an idea to save the country’s financial crisis. I think we need to shut down NASA for a few years. We made it to the moon, and as we say in my community chulas. Billions of dollars need to be re-circuited to those without jobs, not microbes in outer space.

Thank you SO much to all those who commented on my last blog. Really appreciated. Maybe it’ll start a trend?

24 days until graduation!

Rachel Lily

Beaufort in Publishers Weekly!

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

Sticking to the No-Advance Model

by Rachel Deahl – Publishers Weekly, 4/19/2010 12:00:00 AM

It was the imprint of the future. That was at least one of the more dramatic claims made in the media about HarperStudio when Bob Miller’s lean unit was announced at HarperCollins two years ago. The idea, though not entirely new—Roger Cooper launched the similarly drawn Vanguard in 2006—was pitched as an author-driven model in which writers would agree to lower advances in exchange for higher royalties and bigger marketing budgets. While the media may have played the biggest role in decreeing HarperStudio the next big thing in an otherwise traditional—and perhaps broken—industry, the imprint drew an outsize amount of attention for its small list—24 titles a year—and approach.

So how is the no-advance model faring now that HarperStudio is no longer? PW talked to two of the original no-advance evangelists, Eric Kampmann at Beaufort Books and Cooper, and both said they are faring well, if still facing the same uphill battles as everyone in publishing.

Cooper, who does more of a mix of fiction and nonfiction than Kampmann (who largely focuses on nonfiction), said that he’s been slightly more successful publishing his nonfiction titles. He noted that each contract is drawn up differently in relation to marketing budgets, observing, “There’s no formula we’re being slavish to.” Vanguard’s print runs vary widely, between 25,000 and 150,000 copies, and Cooper said the idea is that a book “doesn’t have to be a home run every time. The stakes are to do the best job possible.” With this model, he said, that goal is more feasible.

Kampmann said the Beaufort model was more like the Vanguard one in that neither gives advances, while HarperStudio offered advances as high as $100,000. And, like Vanguard, the indie caters to authors, he said, “who are willing to become more a part of the publishing process.” While Kampmann said Beaufort was really put on the map—and in authors’ and agents’ minds—when it published O.J. Simpson’s If I Did It (working with the Goldman family) in 2008, his colleague, associate publisher Margot Atwell, said that HarperStudio did bring attention to Beaufort and Vanguard’s models. “I think HarperStudio brought a lot of attention to the profit-share model,” she said. “Before, it was a little harder to explain what we do.”

That attention has changed, slightly, the acquisition process. Although both Cooper and Kampmann said projects come in via solicitation and from agents, (and, sometimes, in other ways) more people in the industry are taking notice. Beaufort is publishing Jeff Foxworthy’s next book in October, and, Kampmann said, the comedian’s agent, Peter McGuigan at Foundry, brought the project to him. Erin Smith, who handles publicity at Beaufort, said she believes “there are certain agents thinking outside the box and trying to find ways to work with their authors,” many of whom can benefit from the setup of getting less money upfront with the chance of getting more down the line.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/456777-Sticking_to_the_No_Advance_Model.php

Beau and Arrow – Orange Plates?!

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

Unthank you to all those who didn’t comment (aka everyone).

I thought it was appropriate as self-appointed Brooklyn blogger with opinions, that we discuss the crisis of the new New York orange license plates. Apparently, somebody was drunk or high as they redesigned the already perfect plates to become a nasty neon orange, reminiscent of absolutely nothing to do with New York, except maybe the Knicks. Moreover, they resemble the dreary yellow/orange of New Jersey. I always rely on associating such colors with slow, inexperienced, and annoying drivers. I am admittedly prejudiced against foreign plates, and now my eyes will need to adjust and differentiate between different shades of orange. It turns out I wasn’t the only one who found the new plates atrocious, and I totally missed a fun protest in Albany. Thank G-d there are others in this world concerned with vehicular appearances and color clashes across the state. Although the political higher-uppers promised there would be no new plates, like most political higher-uppers – they lied. It’s just not mandatory to switch. But all newly ordered plates will arrive in bright orange – what the city has marketed as “empire gold.” Sorry Patterson. The only gold I understand comes in karats.

All of this hullabaloo reminds me of last year’s Tropicana fiasco. Another orange disaster. My favorite drink attempted to make their product less unique by changing their carton to show a glass of orange juice. It was nasty, looked like formula, and became difficult to see the difference between different sub-brands. For example, I almost choked on Tropicana with Lots of Pulp, because they all looked the same in the grocery store. Like a proper American citizen, I exercised my right to complain. I called Tropicana and told them I couldn’t stand the new cartons. The man on the other end asked for my address, and I told him I didn’t want to be on any kind of mailing list, I just wanted my old Tropicana back. He said it was a one-time mailing only, and sent over $8 in coupons and an apology to Tropicana’s biggest fan. Just a few weeks later I got another letter from Tropicana saying they took my advice, and were returning to the orange-with-a-straw-stuck-in-it logo. (And they gave me another $8 in coupons). Freedom to Complain can get you places. I’m sending this blog to Albany.

Oranged out,

Rachel Lily

P.S. Want to make a personal shout-out to my amazing Big Brother Big Sister committee who were all awarded last night at the annual awards presentation. You guys are the best!

A Pitch Worth Considering…

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

I spend so much of my day sorting through spam and unsolicited pitches in my inbox that I almost don’t even bother reading them any more. And then this one caught my eye. I do not have need for a overseas freight carrier but I am posting the entire thing here, because if any of you do- use this company for humor and creativity points alone.

to info@beaufortbooks.com
date Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 8:32 AM
subject your seafreight
mailing list <info.beaufortbooks.com>

So UK plc is back open, more or less. Suddenly we’ve all become volcanologists, rediscovered that Dunkirk spirit and realised that:

a) we live on an island in the middle of the North Sea

b) the world is really, really big.

And you don’t want to think about the repercussions for the supply chain. Here’s a small factoid that may be of interest: Air freight accounts for only 0.5 per cent of the UK ‘s international goods movements by weight, but 25 per cent by value; including pharmaceuticals, luxury goods and fresh produce. Some urgent freight has pinched slots in other modes of transport and the knock on effect will be with us for some time to come. The vast majority of air freight comes to us in the belly of passenger planes so freight is in exactly the same boat as passenger traffic. Or rather aircraft not boat – that’s the whole problem!

This is why you need to count on UGL, the reliable specialist with 35 years experience, for all your supply chain needs irrespective of which Shipping Line or Carrier is involved in moving your freight to the UK .

At UGL we understand that lack of innovation and change tends to be a problem in the end, even if you thrive for a while. Just ask the dodo – except you can’t because they are extinct. They were king of the food chain on the remote island of Mauritius. They evolved from pigeons perfectly for these conditions. They grew fat as they had no need to run. They lost the ability to fly, a waste of energy with no predators; and they laid their eggs on the ground as nothing ate them and they couldn’t fly into a tree to nest. The result was loads of thriving, perfectly adapted, dodos.

At UGL we have an innovative team of dedicated experts in their own fields to advise and guide you throughout the whole freight movement process and keep you up to date with modern practices. Extra costs that you may have incurred with others in the past can be avoided and our responsive teams communicate with you to avoid eating into your profit margin, which we are only too well aware can be even tighter in today’s market.

When the inevitable crisis came for the dodo (in their case the arrival of hungry Dutch sailors) the highly adapted and successful bird went extinct within a century. Yes sailors bludgeoning them to death for food didn’t help, but apparently dodo meat was really cloying and fatty so it wasn’t the full problem. Their real problem was the rats that came off the ship and ate their eggs; and the pigs the sailors introduced as a food store, ate the berries dodos thrived on and trampled the remaining eggs. If only the dodo could have had the benefit of UGL, it might have kept up to date on the options available to it and realised retaining flight capability would have been a good idea.

Get in touch; It could just give you the opportunity to gain ground on your competitors. Just like the dodo’s should have.

Charles Hogg
Import Department
Unsworth Global Logistics
3 Lemna Road
London
E11 1JL
Tel:  +44 208 539 8899
Fax: +44 208 988 8077
Website: www.uglog.com

The Censorship of South Park and Our Culture’s Courage

Monday, April 26th, 2010

by Toon Zone

http://www.toonzone.net/blog/blogs/212/the-censorship-of-south-park-and-our-cultures-courage/

I am of course confident that I will fulfill my tasks as a writer in all circumstancesfrom my grave even more successfully and more irrefutably than in my lifetime. No one can bar the road to truth, and to advance its cause I am prepared to accept even death. But may it be that repeated lessons will finally teach us not to stop the writer’s pen during his lifetime? At no time has this ennobled our history. –Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Since April 21, 2010, fear-driven censorship has once again been on the march. It marches at the expense of free expression, artistic liberty, and our collective understanding of the fundamental truth that thought cannot, should not, and never will be governed or truly conquered by any force on this Earth.

I am obviously referring to what the internet and the entertainment media have been talking about to death since Thursday morning: the censorship of the prophet Muhammad on the raunchy, rude, and fearless animated comedy South Park on Comedy Central. I will not bore readers with the details that most of you likely already know. If you are new to the controversy over this incident and want to fully understand the events that led to it, the New York Times has reported on it excellently. In addition, an editorial by Toonzone News’ editor-in-chief addressed the censorship of Muhammad in the episode Cartoon Wars just over four years ago with reason and class, and it’s as relevant now as it was then.  Finally, if you are one of the few that have not seen it, here is the official statement that South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have issued about Comedy Central’s censorship.

In the 14 years we’ve been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn’t stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn’t some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps. In fact, Kyle’s customary final speech was about intimidation and fear. It didn’t mention Muhammad at all but it got bleeped too. We’ll be back next week with a whole new show about something completely different and we’ll see what happens to it.

Lest we forget, of course, South Park has been harshly but peacefully condemned for “blasphemy” as well as its content by at least one group aligned with the Christian faith–the Catholic League–in the past. Whatever you happen to think of that or other disputes, it suffices to say that these past controversies amounted to peaceful wars of words and ultimately never resulted in any special treatment.

Now for all of the opposition that is being offered against this incident right now, I have to honestly and sorrowfully say that I don’t think it’s at the level that it should be just yet.

The opposition is not angry enough and it has yet to fully address all of the aspects of the issue. Meanwhile, in my view the few that sympathize with the network’s decision are utterly lost at sea. In response, I will humbly take it on myself to directly state some truths that we should not overlook as individuals or as a society.

The first critical thing to understand may be the most obvious, but it should be said in plain English often and without apology. This censorship this is absolutely a surrender to Islamic fanaticism and the threat of violence. In short, it is a clear concession to terrorism. In the episode 200, the image of Muhammad was censored while the prophet himself was talked about. After that episode aired, a member of the radical fringe group Revolution Muslim spoke out and suggested that South Park’s creators were risking violence because of that episode’s content. When the episode 201 aired, even saying “Muhammad” or “prophet Muhammad” meant a censorship beep. As the New York Times reports, Comedy Central declined to comment about whether Revolution Muslim had any influence on its decision. Perhaps that’s because everyone understands that they don’t need to.

Another critical fact about this censorship is that it is unprecedented. It is new. Things were not always this way. In the 2001 episode Super Best Friends, Muhammad was parodied along with a slew of other significant religious figures as a member of a goofy superhero team. With the multi-part episode Cartoon Wars from 2006, the image of the prophet Muhammad was controversial and ultimately never shown on television. In 2010, for the episodes 200 and 201 Muhammad was allegedly hidden in a U-Haul truck and disguised by a bear suit (it was really Santa Claus), drawn as a generic stick figure, and completely covered by a black censorship bar. Even without an actual visual representation of Muhammad on the screen, the episode provoked extremist reactions and the comments of Revolution Muslim.

Related to this, the reality is that the censorship also quickly expanded after the airing of 201. At first, the reruns of 201 were canceled and not hosted on southparkstudios.com. By Thursday night, Super Best Friends was pulled not only from South Park Studios, but from legal online sources such as Amazon Marketplace, Netflix’s streaming service, and the iTunes store. That’s right folks, we are now reduced to the point where they refuse to directly sell you a cartoon that so much as depicts the prophet Muhammad. At the time of this writing, the only method left is probably to buy South Park season 5 on DVD. This is assuming, of course, that the fools won’t find a way to pull that off of the shelves in a completely unhinged scorched-Earth strategy.

However, let’s realize something else that is important. It was not only references to Muhammad that were targeted for censorship. We have also been told by Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone that the moral lesson offered near the end of 201 said nothing at all about Muhammad. It was about “intimidation and fear” and, we can assume, about how it’s important to not succumb to these things. Comedy Central censored the entire bloody thing with beeps. Not only did they give in over Muhammad, they also fruitlessly silenced rhetoric that would have damned them for it — rhetoric in a two part episode that, on the whole, pretty much did exactly that anyway. So here we have in fact been confronted with the reality of two types of cowardice: cowardice against violent threats and cowardice against, of all things, the strength of a simple argument. One inevitably has to wonder: will Comedy Central silence Cartoon Wars next since it also debates this issue of whether free expression should ever succumb to the threat of violence? Tell us, Comedy Central. Tell us, Viacom. Are you that cowardly and afraid? We all hope not.

All of this said, it is not enough to only condemn Comedy Central.

Comedy Central has made itself a significant part of the problem, but it did not start this problem and it is not the only sinner. It is essential to understand this, lest this issue be narrowly defined by skeptics and censorship apologists as only a simple skirmish over a popular cartoon show that isn’t worth a human life. This controversy is one fight in a bigger battle. Comedy Central does what it does because of the cultural climate that has tragically been created by the riots that occurred in response to published editorial cartoons which attacked Islamic extremism. These Danish cartoons were printed by the newspaper Jyllands-Posten in 2005 and were then eventually reprinted in dozens of newspapers throughout the European continent during the following year. Many of these cartoons depicted Muhammad, most notably the cartoon that drew a bomb where a turban would be. Angry riots were waged in 2006; propaganda at the time would have you believe that they were 100% spontaneous. Even today, propaganda would have you believe that Islam universally bans any representation of Muhammad when in reality, the truth is more complicated. Different schools of Muslim theology have different views about this. Furthermore, the fanatics’ propaganda wants you to believe that violence is without any doubt Islam’s mandated response to blasphemy. That is not true.

Many of these riots were violent. Danish embassies in the Middle East were trashed, and people died because of some of the protests. Since then, the political cartoons have been considered taboo by many, and depictions of Muhammad have been opposed by respectable, well-educated, and influential people.

It’s true. Consider the fact that from the start, these cartoons have been talked about but not shown by major newspapers in the United States. If there are examples, they are sadly exceptions to the rule. This subject has also proven controversial in academia; you can just ask professor Jytte Klausen of Brandeis University. She wrote a scholarly and well-researched book called The Cartoons That Shook The World. Its purpose was to analyze the Danish cartoon controversy and the political fallout it caused. It was true scholarship; it was a work on the opposite extreme compared to the deliberately silly satire of South Park. It was intelligent, it was well-researched and footnoted, and it was created with absolutely no intent to insult the Muslim faith in any way whatsoever. Among other images, the book was going to include a picture of a newspaper page that displayed the cartoons.

This book was accepted for publication by Yale University Press. Then Yale’s administration made the call to remove that image from manuscript. Let me just repeat that: Yale censored an image of a newspaper that included the very cartoons that the book was created specifically to discuss, analyze, and talk about. This would have been bad enough on its own, but they went even further; all pictures related to Muhammad were removed from the book, including a 19th century painting by Gustave Dore that had never before provoked any protest or been the subject of any controversy.

How was this decision reached? Yale University Press appealed to the University for guidance. The University consulted many experts about the ramifications of publishing these images and whether they should do so. The alleged consensus was that there was a risk of provoking violence around the world that shouldn’t be taken. These experts included diplomats and counter-terrorism officials, according to Yale’s claim (it did not name all of those consulted). At least some stood up for liberty. Others made excuses, and they won. One such man was John Negroponte, who among other things was once the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and its first Director of National Intelligence. He publicly endorsed the censorship. Another was Fareed Zakaria, the editor of Newsweek International and the host of Fareed Zakaria GPS on CNN. He summed up the surrender position quite well: “As a journalist and public commentator, I believe deeply in the First Amendment and academic freedom. But in this instance Yale Press was confronted with a clear threat of violence and loss of life.” Let’s be crystal clear about this, dear reader: no threat had been issued in response to the upcoming book. At the time, Cary Nelson, the president of the American Association of University Professors, bitterly commented that, “We do not negotiate with terrorists. We just accede to their anticipated demands.”

By the way, the censored illustrations and brief discussions of their context have all since been printed in a short book called Muhammad: The “Banned” Images. The man responsible for this is Dr. Gary Hull, an honors professor at Duke University and a real-life American hero. He accomplished this and made the book available ASAP by side-stepping University publishers, producing the book via independent contractors and an imprint created specifically for this purpose, Voltaire Press. The book has been for sale since October 29th, 2009. Hey, guess what everyone. No mass uprisings. The world didn’t come to an end.

So much for the experts.

Academia is unmistakably a battleground in this fight. So is far too much of the Western mainstream media. So is film. Let’s remember the man that Revolution Muslim referred to, the politically incorrect Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh. He was murdered by a terrorist for making Submission, a ten minute film that attacked the abuse of Muslim women. The film aired on TV in many European countries, but it was pulled from the International Film Festival Rotterdam. They didn’t want to endanger the other filmmakers. The writer of Submission, feminist activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali, went into hiding to protect her life. She intends to make a sequel to Submission someday, lest the message be sent that violence works. Meanwhile, I have heard of no upcoming Hollywood film that is following suit. Hell, I’m waiting for a Western film that will follow the example of Persepolis.

There’s more. Writing for the New York Times today, Ross Douthat takes note of other past compromises such as “…the German opera house that that temporarily suspended performances of Mozart’s opera “Idomeneo” because it included a scene featuring Muhammad’s severed head,” as well as “Random House’s decision to cancel the publication of a novel about the prophet’s third wife.” This novel was The Jewel of Medina by Sherry Jones. Fortunately, it was ultimately published by Beaufort Books instead and people are free to judge its merits for themselves.

Who still wants to argue that this is just about some silly cartoon?

To return to the issue of blame, I’ll take things even further. Some have said that Islamic extremism and Revolution Muslim are exclusively to blame. They must indeed be vigilantly and relentlessly opposed. However, just as the problem is not all about Comedy Central, our greatest challenge is not Revolution Muslim or Islamic radicals as a group. These individuals are crazy and intolerant today, they were crazy and intolerant yesterday, they were crazy and intolerant before I was born in 1982, and they’ll be crazy and intolerant tomorrow. The fanatics are not new, and truth is that the fanatic himself will never become extinct so long as human nature is as imperfect as human thought is free. The conclusion to draw from this reality is as logical as it is painful to understand. It is we that have changed. Consider where we stand now: there is a serious debate about whether it is acceptable to risk violence in exchange for a freedom that our fellows and our ancestors have willingly fought and died for.

Now some have come to the conclusion that, well, the censorship is really quite understandable because Comedy Central ought to protect itself and the people that work for it. This line of thought has been propped up by no less a prominent figure than Jon Stewart, the host of The Daily Show. Now yes, Islamic radicalism was justifiably eviscerated by Mr. Stewart on his show, and he does not approve of the censorship. More power to him. But Mr. Stewart also remarked that Comedy Central writes the checks. It’s their right to censor South Park, he says. I’ll freely admit that this is true. After all, the network has censored language for years. But how unfortunate that he and others are right in the process of side-stepping the real question: was this censorship the right thing to do?

We have to understand the context of the so-called warnings that were issued between the airing of 200 and 201. As has been reported, Revolution Muslim is a very small organization based out of New York City. It doesn’t have more than twelve people working in its office. At best, Revolution Muslim is a fringe group of extremist crackpots, not an Al Qaeda cell. According to the New York Times, even the FBI and the New York Police Department believe that there is nothing that law enforcement can do about the group right now. Of all things, this is the group that the apologists say that Comedy Central is justified in surrendering to?

But make no mistake: the censorship apologists can and should be treated seriously and respectfully. They can be confronted and defeated on their own terms. So let us assume for a moment that direct threats have been made against Comedy Central that we do not know about, or that there really was a small possibility that referencing the prophet Muhammad in 201 would have provoked a violent response.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am completely certain that most Comedy Central sympathizers don’t like that Muhammad was censored on South Park. Maybe Jon Stewart honestly doesn’t think he’s in a position to condemn his bosses even though he hosts the hottest television show on the network. I really doubt that Fareed Zakaria and John Negroponte want to believe that censorship is necessary. I am even willing to concede that the decision to censor Muhammad probably wasn’t an easy snap judgment. And yes, there is always that slim chance that tragedy will happen if you do not surrender to the threats of the fanatic. Yet ultimately, this point of view amounts to an attempt to rationalize what has happened.

You can’t do that.

You cannot advocate playing it safe while imagining that you stand for liberty and against the tyranny of fear without indulging in extreme self-delusion. This is following the path of least resistance. I’m personally no fan of Noam Chomsky, but he understood the principle of free speech when he said that “If you believe in freedom of speech, you believe in freedom of speech for views you don’t like.” This is an excellent point, and not just because of the way it advocates tolerance. The greater message is that if you believe in certain principles, then you believe in them when it is hard to do so. With that in mind, I submit the following: if you believe in freedom of speech, then you believe in it when it is challenged.

Terrorism attempts to force or coerce change through intimidation and fear. It is not merely a challenge against a Government, nor is it someone else’s problem. Terrorism’s true target is culture and civilization. Its true target is the people. Its true target is us. Terrorism does not work when it threatens us. Terrorism does not work when it kills people. Terrorism works when it achieves change in response to its actions. The fanatic does not care if you submit to him while calling him a radical bastard. He cares about having his way.

I implore each and every one of you to seriously think about the reality of the world we live in. When do you think Islamic radicalism will dissipate to the point that it will be completely safe in your mind to reference Muhammad, let alone to think about and portray and discuss him in the same way that we do Jesus Christ? Is it ten years? Twenty years? Thirty years? Will it be when you’re a grandfather or a grandmother? For how long would you like to wait while fear-based censorship becomes progressively more ingrained and accepted in your culture? Who will decide when it’s safe enough, and how? At what point do our institutions and our media and our entertainment industry declare with a unified voice that is enough is enough?

Principles are not principles if you abandon them at the first sign of a reasonable excuse.

My plea is that you do not feel disappointed about this censorship. Do not feel sad. Do not satisfy yourself with the idea that season 14 of South Park will eventually be released on DVD completely uncensored, which it damn well better be. Above all, don’t feel passive or decide that this is the only way that things can be.

You should be mad. You should remember every attack of any variety against our way of life and etch them into your mind. Let them inspire not rage, but renewed determination. This is about you.

We must insist that Muhammad return to television and to the internet until Muhammad becomes an uncontroversial part of our public discourse. Because the human mind must be allowed to create and to think and to assert completely unencumbered by fear. Most importantly, do not keep your discontent quiet. Do not be content with complaining on Twitter, or on Facebook, or on your personal blog. Contact Comedy Central and its corporate parent Viacom directly, and let them know exactly how you feel. Be respectful but tough. Don’t spam them, wait for just a little while and see what happens. Then protest all over again if nothing has changed. The best possible response to censorship is to strongly and consistently say, “No.”

There’s more to it than even that. Go out of your way to see, show, and understand what the clueless executives and the foolish faction of intellectuals don’t want you to see. Watch for other threats of compromise and take a stand when they emerge. Do all of this with the knowledge that this cultural battle can be won. In the long run, we lose only if we forfeit the game. That’s true for a very simple reason.

There are more of us than there are of them.

Todd “GWOtaku” DuBois is a contributing writer for Toonzone.

Beau and Arrow – HABO (Help A Blogger Out!)

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Part of my daily ritual here at Beaufort is reviewing the HAROs for the day. HARO, short for Help A Reporter Out, is basically a resource guide for anyone making queries for an article, blog, website, TV show, radio show, you get the gist. Or maybe you don’t. Say I’m a blogger. Say I want to write an article about, I dunno, how rainy Monday mornings can have a substantial effect on the quality of a week’s work. So I pitch my story on HARO, asking for experts on weather, quotes from random employees, and anything else that might directly support my argument. Anyway, sometimes the queries are hilarious, and I figured I would share some with you, because I’m nice like that:

*Need surgeon to verify claims made by horror film* (LA WEEKLY) : A new horror film claims to be “100% medically accurate.” I’d like to show the film to a surgeon and/or gastroenterologist, and have the weigh in on the accuracy. I have a DVD that I could bring to any location in the Los Angeles area. Be forewarned: the film is not explicit, but what it implies is extremely gruesome. This is not an assignment for the easily offended or weak of stomach.

Okay, maybe you didn’t laugh out loud, but I did. I’m that type. When I laugh, I really really laugh. And I think this is very funny! Sometimes the headline alone is enough to make me stop and smile. Usually the pitch is so specific, I just wonder why in the world they are writing such an article and who in the world is going to answer them. And sometimes it’s just downright LOL:

C-Level execs with advice for new managers on dealing with office politics (Nicholas Brealey)

Looking for humorous paperless office stories. (www.productivity501.com)

looking for the biggest Justin Bieber fans in NYC (Anonymous)

How romantic movies influence audiences (Anonymous)

How to Survive Your Plane Being Grounded (Fox News.com)

Diaper Wars (Frugal Yankee)

Does Bread Really Make You Fat? (Examiner.com – National)

Beard and Mustache Competitions (Various magazines)

40 – 50-year-old Carrie Bradshaw types / authors (NYC Nespaper)

50-year-old-ish publicists / “Samantha” from SATC types (NYC Newspaper)

Calling All Curvy Brides To Be (Book)

Need someone to get a Sally Herschberger haircut (LX New York / NBC Local Media)

Have you or your partner ever been guilty of emotionally manipulating or blackmailing one another? (The Love Wranglers)

and my personal favorite…

Seeking Moms with a Crush on Justin Bieber or other embarrasingly young stars (Boston Globe)

Here are some topics I, Rachel Lily, as your blogger would like to pitch. If these topics are something you are able to comment on, or want me to write about, let me know!

-Looking for an umbrella that doesn’t get wet
-Career coach for those right out of college, right out of an internship, right before breakdown
-Seeking a way to get people to actually comment on your blogs
-People who didn’t like Avatar (meeee)
-People who are sick of bridal showers (meeee)
-Fans of BerryBuzz app who are having difficulty with the new upgrade. Or just fans.
-Experts on reality shows to explain why I am obsessed with Top Chef even though I can’t cook and I don’t understand half the things they’re making
-Anyone at all who wants to finish writing my thesis for me. For free.
-Those who agree that sometimes you leave Staples and just want to push a button that says “That was hard”

Let’s pick anything above to discuss for Wednesday. Your votes count!

Gracias,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Shake ‘n’ Bake

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

In honor of the fact that I just saw my Shakespeare professor on the F Train, let’s talk a little William. Last week I went to my downtown book club on The Tempest. We discussed the Renaissance Man and his insurpassable talents as a playwright that set up the remainder of the history of literature as we know it. Suddendly, characters and storylines became complex structures one could never summarize into just one theme or thought. I could go on, but I’m not sure Shakespeare really needs another endorsement from little old me. But one thing I do want to mention is Shakespeare’s aptitude for a postmodern-like ability for breaking down the fourth wall. For those of you who are unaware, this basically means that a writer or playwright is exiting the constraints of the work, leaping off the pages, and off the scene to speak to the audience or reader one-on-one. I always found this tool of breaking down the fourth wall particularly exciting in my own writing because it empowers the reader to feel as though they are as much involved as the piece itself. One could say it was the genesis of the blog – writing for the people, from the personal. Me and Will share a little something in common! Woo hoo! Also, now that we mentioned my Shakespeare professor, let me just add that once upon a time I went to her office to discuss my final paper and she asked me if I could babysit for her kids. Definitely one of the funniest moments of my Brooklyn College life.

As for the “bake” part of the title, I had no plan coming in, other than a play on words featured in The Air Up There, which is a really great movie for someone who hasn’t seen it. The Mint Juleps are a personal favorite of mine. Also, if you’re living under a rock and haven’t listened to the radio in the past few months, it’s also featured in Drake’s “Bedrock,” which has been played over and over and over again, almost to the point of ridiculousness. The only real baking I do is a from-scratch chocolate cake with frosting. It is my specialty, although I wouldn’t say it is particularly “special” in any way. It is a recipe I can recite off-hand, and whip up faster than I can drive to the nearest bakery (parking time included).

Other stuff: Did anyone look up flash mob on You Tube, because I can’t stop watching clips. These ImprovEverywhere people are hilarious! I think we should get together and do one in Times Square – wadya think?! Very excited. Feedback is welcome.

Rachel Lily

P.S. Feedback is really welcome. My “comments” sections have been lackluster, as in nearly non-existent except for my biased mother, and one or two others. Let’s change that por favor? I want to hear from you!

Beau and Arrow – Family Feud on the F

Monday, April 19th, 2010

Dearest Fans,

I apologize if you feel neglected in any way. Last Wednesday I was swamped with interny things to do to get the team at Beaufort over to London. Only one small problem…due to Icelandic volcanic ash, the entire city of London has been deemed a no-fly zone, so the trip was canceled. For 6 days now, no one has been able to fly in and out! Craziness…

I also want to double apologize for having neglected to update my favorite fans on my life. Here’s the lowdown: my last month as a member of the Brooklyn College student body is nearing. Remember my first blog post with the sad face? Swap it for the crying baby face, this is such a disaster. How will my life feel complete without it? How will I possibly be able to find intellectual challenges outside of Bedford Avenue? Jeopardy? (Did anyone see Isaac Mizrahi on Friday night? He was so so funny). Although my penchant attitude for Alex Trebek is helpful, there is nothing like sharing a classroom discussion with the nationality soup that is Brooklyn College. Today on the F Train I had a full-fledge daydream, imagining a Family Feud type game show breaking out – my bench vs. the law school student across from me. I could beat him and his Regulation textbook, memorizing highlighted notes, practically rolling his eyes with “duh”ness at the test I assume he is having today. The Asian man standing in the middle of us would announce the show as an educational feud of the masses (mass transit that is), and me and lawyer dude would face off to name the Top 100 Things People Worry About After Graduating. My daydream came to a literal screeching halt as we entered the station at 23rd Street and I realized this was the saddest daydream ever, and I really should just go for my masters in blogging and call it a day. (Does that exist? Someone find out).

In other news, who knows what a flash mob is? I just found out and you’re going to love this clip. Glee fans rejoice! CLICK HERE. Bottom line, I NEED to be involved in this the next time it occurs. Too cool to pass up. Also, an interesting anthropological study on society’s inherent need to be part of a random community of fans. Thanks for being a part of mine!

Best,

Rachel Lily

Three Daughters of Madame Liang

Monday, April 19th, 2010

After her husband takes a concubine, Madame Liang sets out on her own, starting an upscale restaurant and sending her daughters to America to be educated. At the restaurant, the leaders of the People’s Republic wine and dine and Madame Liang must keep a low profile for her daughters’ sake.

Soon her two eldest daughters are called back to serve the People’s Republic. Her oldest daughter, Grace, now a doctor, finds meaning through her work. Things are not as easy for her daughter Mercy, a musician who is not in demand in the People’s Republic, nor for her new husband who she has brought back to China with her.

Watching her two daughters grow apart and knowing that her youngest daughter will never return, Madame Liang must also face the challenges The Cultural Revolution, and how to keep herself and the restaurant, alive.

Praise for Three Daughters of Madame Liang

“The strength of this book lies in the useful insights into the temperament of modern-day Chinese…[The daughters] all must decide whether patriotism is enough to call them back into communism.” –Christian Science Monitor

“Three Daughters of Madame Liang is written with gentleness and elegance, like one of those old Chinese scroll paintings.” – The New York Times Book Review

About the Author: Pearl S. Buck

ISBN: 978-1-5592-1040-9

$14.95

Buy it Now:

Flora

A lifetime retrospective of the paintings of Janet Alling, this collection includes both watercolors and oils and features her main interest, the process of painting from direct observation of plants in natural light. Alling’s paintings are a development and progression of formal visual ideas, color exploration, light, composition, scale, and the phenomena of the natural world.

About: Janet Alling

Hardcover: $30.00 (ISBN: 9780825306358)

Art/Oil Painting

112 pages

Order here: