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Beau and Arrow – Spring Fever

Monday, April 12th, 2010

Time for me to fess up and admit that my little harangue on open-toe shoes may have been a bit premature and okay fine I’ll admit it, wrong. Last Wednesday the weather in NYC broke weather records and broke out some warranted summer clothing. It was H-O-T and F-U-N to see everyone so equally sweaty and confused as to why they were suddenly feeling an interminable pull towards the swimming pool during the first week in April. Thanks to my friend’s sunshine-heavy balcony, my sunkissed tan is equally blissful in this confusion. Last week I felt compelled to explain to my nephew, who slept over to celebrate his 7th birthday, that on the day he was born my Brooklyn street was filled with SNOW as I ran up and down with the block with my neighbor cousins screaming “I’m an aunt!” into the crisp winter air. The point is, we should be counting our lucky stars (and suns?) that we are able to bask in the warmth of Spring so early in the season.
Now that we’ve established that Spring is definitely here it’s time to take advantage. It’s time to grab a chair outside and start some seasonal reading. This, instead of watching Tivoed shows that are so far behind you’re wondering why people are suddendly upset at Darryl Strawberry again (spoiler alert – he voluntarily got fired off Celebrity Apprentice a few weeks ago). Sitting in the sun is the perfect time to fill our brains with some positive literary power. Margot Atwell, from over here at Beaufort suggested picking up a title to match your spring wardrobe. I am just about finished reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave which features a bright orange cover. Not sure this will work for my colorphobia closet but I just realized my scarf has some orange in it. Hmm… Bottom line people, go to your local bookstore and pick up something that looks interesting. This is the season of taking chances – on a new guy, a new girl, a new hobby, a new friendship, and of course, a new book.

Happy Spring Reading!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – hiPad

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Enter the iPad. Although upon its announcement I termed the iPad “temporarily irrelevant” to my family of tech-gurus, I think it’s important that upon it’s debut we discuss the iPad’s inherent revolutionary potentialities. If we follow the course of past iProducts, the iPad is surely something to keep two (maybe three) eyes out for. I often pride myself on having bought a first generation iPod, when I kid you not, people were asking me what in the world an iPod even was. So let me tell you what the iPad is, because there seems to be some confusion, albeit on my part as well. The iPad is a portable laptop computer with no tangible keyboard. It is for all intents and purposes, a very big iPhone, without the phone part. My first question was of course, what is this trying to replace? I am yet to get an answer, and even Mr. Jobs himself has flustered in giving a response. But as Lev Grossman of Time magazine noted, “Apple never holds focus groups. It doesn’t ask people what they want; it tells them what they’re going to want next.” My cousin, a programmer and tech-obsesser, filled our holiday conversation with talk of the iPad empire that will soon ensue. His 4 year old son who inherited a hand-me-down iPhone 1G said it best: “Daddy, this is like my phone, only bigger.” He then tried to put the iPad against his ear in an attempt to make a mega phone call (LOLs are welcome). But let’s talk publishing. The iBook application is without a doubt the main proponent of the iPad that has all of the industry buzzing over. Amazon’s Kindle may become an old pastime, like harem pants or planet Pluto. John Makinson, chairman and chief executive at Penguin told Stephen Fry in another Time article, “it gives control back to us and allows us to discover how the market is developing. Frankly, when I saw the iPad, it was like an epiphany…This has to be the future of publishing. You’ll know if you’ve spent any time with one.” I for one am not sure if I’m ready to give up the paperback pages and reading magic of holding a book in my hands, but millions have already taken the digital plunge. An iBook revolution seems imminent. Ironically, just a few magazine pages after the above-mentioned articles, there is a full-page ad for the Kindle. Hmm…somebody’s scared…

Rachel Lily

For more information on the Time articles click HERE

Beau and Arrow – Twilight for Adults

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

Today’s topic: Stephanie Meyer, the woman who brought us Edward and Jacob (and that other girl too), apparently writes books that aren’t about vegetarian vampires. The Host was published in 2008, and is currently in pre-pre-pre-production for the big screen. The Host is Meyer’s first adult novel, meaning it’s probably the same as Twilight with some extra boring drama. Actually, I’ll bet it’s probably not very different from Twilight, as I find that the difference between YA novels and adult novels usually depends on the ages of the characters and not necessarily the storyline or level of literary expertise.
Here is the novel’s synopsis in Meyer’s words: “Invasion of the Body Snatchers, if the aliens had won.” Now, admittedly, I have never seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but I recall my mother/brother telling me it was the scariest movie they ever saw and resulted in many sleepless nights. Whether this was just a plug for people to go see her movie is a possibility because the actual synopsis sounds more like a supernatural romance. Sound familiar? Meyer hired Andrew Niccol to write the screenplay, who was nominated for Best Original Screenplay for The Truman Show. Meyer admired his work in what she says was one of her favorite sci-fi films. Calling The Truman Show a sci-fi film is a bit of a stretch, but that was a great movie (the product placement commercials were genius). As film adaptations go, the Twilight series seems to have hit the mark, proven not only by the box office records, but also the screaming fans in the movie theatre, one of which was sitting next to me and literally hyperventilated when Jacob took his shirt off. The point is, popularity is associative, hence my connections list, so if Meyer’s stamp is on The Host, there’s a good chance this is a film to watch out for.
Speaking of my connections list!!! I saw Julia Roberts driving today! A VERY big deal. April Fools. Sorry, had to.
Happy Passover!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – How do you say Google in Chinese?

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Answer: You don’t.

In perhaps one of the most outstanding media affronts I have seen in my lifetime, Google (aka The UnBing, The Godly One, He Who Must Be Named) has decided to declare war on Chinese censorship. They have already begun rerouting content through Hong Kong. The Chinese have already begun mourning the loss by placing flowers at their Beijing headquarters (not kidding). Of course, no media power can claim similarities to the almighty Google, but it’s important that we clarify what is going on here. A website has decided that its unalienable rights as a search engine supersede the declarations of one of the most powerful countries on Earth. And I, in all my blog glory feel the interminable need to burst out in applause. This is so freakin’ cool! The internet vs. a country – we’re talking 21st century technological warfare. This is Freedom of Speech in a whole new light, one which I’m sure our forefathers would be proud of. Whether Sergey Brin has the chutzpah (he’s Jewish) and bravado to carry this through to the end will definitely be something to keep an eye out for.
Other matters: The woman who helps me pick out clothes at one my favorite Jersey boutiques turns out to be Ashley Tisdale’s grandmother. My niece just informed me of this colossal addition to my A-list list. (In the words of Ashley herself – “I want it all!”)
I started reading Dave Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I read a portion of in college and it’s totally amazing all over again. Of course, I only read the introductory pages, but if you pick up this book you’ll understand that that’s no slim feat.
My sister created her own heartbreaking work of staggering genius this past Wednesday at an event for Women in the Arts at the 92nd Street Y in Tribeca. Check it out HERE. Also, in another shameless sibling plug, that same sister also has her very own book blog. Check it out HERE.

Happy Passover! I can’t wait…

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Nielsen

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

If you don’t know who Nielsen is they’re basically the people who know everything. They know exactly how many people bought the first Harry Potter (a shmillion), how many people tuned in to watch Peyton Manning lose the Super Bowl (many millions), and how many people bought Heidi Montag’s solo album (like, 5, including her husband). They’re basically media statistic gods. I heard that they used to have a random selection of American households who they gave a clicker to, and members of the home would click in every time they watched TV. However they do it, they know their stuff. At least, I thought they did until now. Somehow, the intern e-mail address over here at Beaufort is on their mailing list, and they sent us a very interesting update to whoever cares about random media statistics. I will share an excerpt:
“Each week the typical American consumes almost 35 hrs of TV, 2 hrs of timeshifting, 4 hrs of internet, 22 minutes of online video and 4 minutes of mobile video.  Cross-media usage also continues to increase – now 59% of Americans use TV and the Internet simultaneously at least one time per month, spending 3.5 hours each month on TV and the Internet at the same time.”
I have things to say about this. First and foremost, I am not a typical American (woo hoo!). The great majority of TV that I watch is “timeshifted” (which sounds like a term from a sci-fi movie…then again, Tivo sometimes feels a bit Star Trekky). Like I mentioned many weeks back, my father is a tech-guru and felt it was our responsibility to make sure Tivo was a necessity in all homes. It passed with flying colors, but left an indellible mark on my family members – that being, for the past 10 years our patience with commericals has been nil. From my own made-up-on-the-spot statistical data, similar commercial-hating has been reported by 89% of DVR users.
Second and secondmost, 4 hours of internet sounds entirely too little. I just spent all day on the internet. Nielsen needs to have a little chat with a little company called Google. (Which, whoa! big news! was for the first time ever surpassed by another website in the number of people tuning in a month. That website? Facebook. Thank you to a very upset friend of mine for supplying this sad statistic).
Third and thirdmost, it’s about time people start multitasking more. If we can’t check our Weather Channel app while watching Lost, then we just aren’t 21st century kind of people.
Fourth and fourthmost, on a completely unrelated topic, I have added to my celeb-connection list. I was at a copy center yesterday, and a guy came in and started chewing my ear off, asking 21 questions about my life, my future and other demographic information you don’t usually share with strangers. Anyway, he said his father wrote the lyrics to Barry Manilow’s Mandy. I never had particularly positive feelings towards Barry Manilow until I watched him in an interview and he said he used to make up commercial jingles. Ready?! “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is thereeee” – Barry Manilow! And the ultimate commercial jingle of all time, “I am stuck on Band-Aid brand, cause Band-Aids stuck on me!” – Barry Manilow!!! Just that much closer to being famous…
Yours truly,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – The Year of Living Biblically

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Last Wednesday I participated in a book club on AJ Jacobs’ The Year of Living Biblically. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it, as it had me laughing out loud periodically. Jacobs is an experimental journalist who writes for Esquire, and in this book he goes on a year-long journey attempting to follow the Bible as literally as possible. Through his hilarious adventures, he learns about fundamentalism (both Jewish and Christian), his own religious heritage, and his spiritual life. Also, he dresses up in all white, grows a full beard, blows the shofar on street corners at the first day of every month and throws pebbles at adulterers. Entertainment!
Like all book clubs, tangents are always the most exciting part, because tangents form an opportunity for discussion beyond the scope of the novel, and into the participants’ basic  intellectual yearning to discuss personal opinions and issues. You have just gotten a small insight into my senior thesis, of which a substantial rough draft is due tomorrow morning. Thanks for letting me practice. Yes I do want to cry now.
Back to our tangents, they were really  great, and what was supposed to be an hour-long book club, became a too-good-to-stop, 3 hour book club. As a group of modern Orthodox Jews, we discussed the ritual life inherent in being an observant Jew, and what it all might amount to. We also tapped into spirituality, cherry-picking religion, oh, and our basic ideas about what type of life we think people should lead and why. Sound heavy? It is!
One important reason why I mention all this is because AJ Jacobs admits to constantly Googling himself and references thereof, and I think it would be pretty damn cool if he saw this post. It would most definitely rank high on my “famous connections” list. So AJ if you’re listening in, hi, I think you’re funny (very).
Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing! In an attempt to come as close as possible to having a slave, Jacobs picks up a non-paying intern who does all his dirty work for free. Turns out, since the book’s publication, that very intern wrote a book of his own (about Jerry Falwell), and it actually did pretty well. An intern turned famous? Clap clap clap.

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Down South

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

I’m sure my presence was sorely missed. While those of you in the New York metropolitan area were weathering the storm, I was down south this weekend at my cousin’s destination wedding. It was awesome y’all.
I arrived in Savannah, Georgia on Thursday afternoon on the smallest plane I ever flew on. After getting settled in, of course the first thing I thought was food. If you know me at all, this is a common thought process, and one which gives me constant anxiety that my tummy might rumble hours into the future. Turns out that even though there are only about 3200 Jews in all of Savannah, the local Publix has an entire kosher section. I bought out their selection of instant noodle soups and my fears were instantly quelled. It also turns out that the bride’s uncle is the only kosher caterer in all of Savannah! My first crack at real southern fried chicken was a wholehearted success. Grits – ehh, not so much (even though the My Cousin Vinny fan in me was really wanting to like it).
In an attempt to make the most symmetrical town in America, General Oglethorpe structured Savannah into 24 squares, with a park at the center of each. This proved for a really beautiful, albeit repetitive, tour of old town Savannah, especially with the amazing live oak trees all breeding this gloomy gray moss. Here are some other highlights from our tour:
1) We passed by a theater where John Wilkes Booth once played Julius Ceasar. Let me say that again. John Wilkes Booth. Theater. Julius Ceasar.
2) The tour guide referred to the Civil War as “The War of Recent Unpleasantness”. Check please! The reality kind.
3) It turns out the famous line “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get,” was first uttered by Tom Hanks on a bench in one of the parks we passed. Forrest Gump in Savannah!
4) The gas in Savannah is sold by El Cheapo. LOL.
5) We visited one of the oldest synagogues in America, which contains a Torah that was brought over from Spain in 1733 that dates back to the 14th-15th centuries. Oh, and the synagogue really really really looked like a church.
6) There were green fountains in honor of St. Patty’s. Apparently, Savannah has the second biggest St. Patty’s parade in American with over 400,000 people filing in to party.

The actual synagogue where our Sabbath festivities took place was a monstrosity. It seats 900 people and it is what my father rightfully explained was “built like an airport hangar.” There were about 50 people praying. Insane.
On Saturday night, I went on a Savannah-famed ghost tour, where participants ride in a hearse around town and hear “scary” stories about Savannah’s deadly, gory past. It was far from scary, but definitely an experience.
Drum roll please! During the drive up to Hilton Head, South Carolina, where the wedding took place, we passed by Beaufort County! Or at least, we passed a sign that said Beaufort County. Point is, I was excited. On that note, the wedding was very exciting and beautiful as well, and I was so happy to be there to share in the happiness of my first ever destination wedding.
Aside from my cousin’s futile attempt to pick up a southern accent in a matter of 5 days time, the trip was an all and out success. Hope y’all enjoyed hearing about it.

Till next week!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Disney Rules

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

I learn new things every day. Sometimes they really fascinate me, and I’m going to share an interesting one with you – maybe you can help me grapple with it.

A former professor of mine writes Hollywood-bound screenplays, and is currently writing for a Disney movie that sounded very much like Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves (which was a great series, let’s all admit). It turns out there are specific guidelines which must be strictly adhered to in the writing process. Ready?

1) You cannot mention divorce. In the movie my professor is working on, there is a stepfather in the family, but there is no explanation as to what happened to the real father. Stop. Is this normal?! Divorce rates in the US are at what? 50%? But shhh, don’t tell the kids. Might ruin their movie.
2) Santa Claus exists. At least, you cannot mention anything to the contrary. Let us further disillusion the minds of today’s youth, because Miley Cyrus didn’t do a good enough job.
3) A couple who isn’t married cannot live together. Fine, I don’t mind this one. But still fascinating!

My sister mentioned another one to me that I had never thought of. Use of the word “God” seems to be mysteriously absent from Disney movies. She expressed this in describing the overdramatic and constant use of a mousy “Oh my goodness!”

Anyways, I found this all to be pretty cool stuff.

Other world phenomena to think about:
-Rain jackets without hoods
-Charles Darwin married his first cousin
-People who try to emulate Snookie’s hairdo (like the woman on the train today who had multiple “poofs”)

I am off to Savannah, Georgia for the weekend! My cousin is marrying a southern belle, so a destination wedding is in store. I’ll be back next Wednesday, don’t miss me too much. Hopefully I will have some good Georgian stories to report.

Peace out,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Book Commercials?

Monday, March 8th, 2010

The other night while watching TV, two strange things occured. The first, I was so entrenched in my Blackberry solitaire game that I did not fast forward through commercials of my Tivoed show. The second, there was a commercial for a book. In fact, I was so entrenched in my solitaire game that my mother, who was on the phone at the time, snapped her fingers to get my attention and pointed at the TV. It was a trailer-like preview of Jodi Picoult’s House Rules, complete with dramatic voice-over, and enough information to make you feel like you’ve already read it. The point is, book commercials are awkward. I want to tap them on the shoulder and redirect them to Newspaper Street. Kind of like the guy who picked up the phone when I tried to order pizza today and said “Not Rosa’s Pizza” (who was clearly upset that I was not ordering cupcakes and gave me the correct number which he had already memorized). To play devil’s advocate to my own complaint, it did get my attention.

On a happier note, my neice got engaged this morning! Yes, wedding #9 is just around the corner. I really wanted to tell you all the other day during my 27 Dresses rant, but I was sworn to secrecy. The chances I might be a great aunt before I turn 25? Very good. Granted, I was only 10 months old when my brothers dragged me down the aisle at my sister’s wedding, but being a great aunt is not something I would have opted for before age 40. In case you were wondering how the proposal went down, she was called in for an interview at a local elementary school, and had to read a book to the class. On the dedication page she saw her own name (Enter “awww” here). Funnily enough, she told me about the interview, and the fact that she would be reading a book just yeterday, while unknowingly blowing my hair for her own party, which is tonight. Hello, dramatic irony!

In other news, it’s a magnificent 57 degrees in NYC today, but I think the upturn in weather has really gotten to people’s heads. Newsflash – it is still wintertime. Meaning I needed to put my gloves on this morning during my walk to the train station, despite the fact that I opted for my second-tier winter coat. People see sun and immediately strip down to shorts and a t-shirt. Just because there’s no snow on the ground, doesn’t mean it’s time to hit the beach! Come on people. I don’t wanna see your toes until May.

Have a great week!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Blogger’s Rights

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Forward movement in the NYC blogger’s bill of rights. A new law was just recently passed allowing bloggers to enter press conferences that have restricted public access. They can receive these press passes only if they have the necessary credentials (having done six reports on restricted events). While the article I read this from took a nice jab of an insult at people like me, who are lacking in such credentials as “any old yahoo with a blog,” I will put aside my pride and applaud my fellow bloggers for getting a one-uppance in the world of journalism. I am not a yahoo!

Speaking of yahoo, who uses Yahoo? Or better yet, who uses anything aside from Google these days? My blackberry has permanently defaulted Bing as my go-to search engine and I am not at all satisfied. Google = Godly.

On another note, my two best friends got married last night. To each other. Ah yes, the joy of being a bridesmaid for the 8th time in a one year period can sometimes drive me slightly over the edge of sanity, but it is a position I am for the most part extremely honored and delighted to be in. People oftentimes come up to me and wonder if I ever wear anything other than a gown. Call me Katherine Heigl, I do have a bunch. But yes, I own other clothing! I just don’t get a chance to wear them that often as I am forever walking down the aisle without an engagement ring. Make no mistake, I am not bitter about this. But my dancing feet most assuredly are.

Toodles,

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – BAM

Monday, March 1st, 2010

So last night I went to see The Tempest at BAM and it was amazing! The theater is so Brooklynesque, as in it’s mostly brick and needs a renovation job badly (it’s a landmark), but somehow immediately felt like home. I read The Tempest a few years ago for my college Shakespeare class, but there is just no comparison to seeing a live show. The set design was probably the most exciting part of all, with the characters wading in a shallow pool of water, and the island consisting of a circle of sand in the middle of the stage. At one point, and perhaps the best point, Caliban is introduced to the stage by eerily rising up from beneath the sand, writhing and deliberately ugly. I totally just gave away the best part, but my sister gave away another thing to me, so I’ll let you in on it. As everyone was getting seated prior to the show, a haggard man is sitting with the orchestra to the side, purportedly reading his notes. As the 7:30 showtime finally hit, we soon found out he is Prospero! He rises from his chair and puts on his robe and belt and boom! (or should I say BAM) the play started. Geniussss. Also genius, Bank of America is the play’s sponsor. Double BAM!

I finished Chelsea Handler’s Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea this weekend. Mostly picked it up because of all the hype and it pretty much delivered. Reminded me of another collection of essays, Sloane Crosley’s I Was Told There’d Be Cake, which I read last month and thought was hilarious. They’re both funny, witty, quick-reads, and recommended for when you’re not in the mood to think that hard. Also, I’m thinking if I ever actually write a book, this is probably what it would look like. Short, autobiographical stories about nothing. (Ahem, my blogs, ahem).

Short autobio story of the day: I lost my cell phone at a restaurant last week and I was convinced that I left it in the bathroom and someone stole it. I had the entire staff on alert, and we even went through the garbage where the manager said people oftentimes hide things to pick up later (drug deal, hello!). This accusatory inclination was the direct result of a previous stolen cell phone fiasco, in which I used my observational skills to pinpoint the perpetrator and was ultimately reunited with my beloved Blackberry. As I tried to imagine what my life would be like without my phone, I was left with many question marks and much uneasiness. Technology is ridiculously irreplaceable, therefore unreliable, but my dependence on the little gadget is immense, my love for it, irrevocable. I found it on the floor face down under my table, and only because my metro card, which fits perfectly behind my phone case, was peeking out of the camera hole, showing a bit of white in the darkness. Catastrophe avoided! Lesson semi-learned.

Rachel Lily

Margaret Ajemian Ahnert

Margaret Ajemian Ahnert was born in New York City. Growing up, she listened to her mother’s stories about her own childhood during the Armenian genocide in Turkey. She has an MFA from Goucher College and a BA from Goddard College, and is a graduate of the Barnes Foundation. She has pursued a variety of careers: producing television documentaries, lecturing as a docent at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and teaching art appreciation through the Art Goes to School program in elementary schools. Ahnert holds a 100-ton master captain’s license and is an avid hunter and fisherwoman. She also is an experienced pilot.

The Knock at the Door

Beau and Arrow – Labyrinths

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

I go to a lot of book clubs because my thesis is on my book clubs so yes, you will be hearing a lot about them. I went to another one on Monday night, my “shoeless” book club (because shoes are not allowed). An eclectic bunch in socks and slippers, roaming around a gorgeous downtown apartment talking about the selected literature of the month. This time, the topic was Borges, a true giant in the literary world, a visionary thinker, and one of the smartest guys who ever lived. He’s basically a walking encyclopedia, and his works are dense and complicated, and make you do what all great literature should make you do – THINK. But more importantly, and we discussed this in our book club, Borges seems to really make you want to write. So my tip of the week: if you’re having writer’s block, pick up Library of Babel and in the words of The Matrix (whose themes are interspersed throughout Borges’ works and which just so happens to be my favorite movie) “Free your mind.”

My fiasco of the week occured just prior to the Shoeless Book Club. After picking up 12 copies of the next meeting’s book (Shakespeare’s The Tempest! Now featured in BAM), I got on the Q train and took it one stop over to Canal Street. Over the past few months I have used the train probably more times than my whole life combined, all thanks to HopStop.com. The problem is, in this case, HopStop wanted me to make a left on said “unnamed road.” I walked on, with my 20 lbs of books in on hand, pocketbook in the other, looking for a dark alley? A random cross street? Possibly a direction-giving angel?

I sought out the angels on every corner. I gave my look of desperation to many strangers on the street, hands turned over in confusion, and pleaded with them –  “Hudson Streeet?!” Two women on separate occasions attempted to show me where we were on their cell phone GPS, possibly more concerned with showing off that they actually had this technology and not that the map was reading off to me like an obscure dialect of Swahili. Admittedly, directions are my biggest weakness. The one thing I can rely on is that my instincts are almost always dead wrong. Oftentimes, if my insides say “Go right!”, I will make the L shape with my left hand and go left. Other strangers were equally unhelpful, pointing in directions where the road was ending, and/or not knowing we were in Manhattan. Two old ladies in matching puffy jackets who didn’t speak English to save their lives, tried to reason with me. “Hud-son Street,” I mouthed slowly. “Ah, Hudon swaygegda,” one said while making a vertical sweeping motion with her hand. I am pretty sure they were sending me to the Hudson River. And one guy was equally flustered, “I dunno maybe SOHO?!” His attitude and accent sounded strangely familiar, and upon his asking if I was from the Jewish Syrian community, I confirmed this recognition. It’s a small world after all?

I called my sister half in sobs, “I’m lostttt!”
“Where are you?” she asked. “Where am I?!” I shouted to the nearest New York stranger. Luckily, I was a block away from my destination, and my disaster was finally at a close. 40 minutes of agony later I was at the Shoeless Book Club ready to discuss Borges’ Labyrinths. Labyrinths. Haha very funny (=sarcasm).

Adios!

Rachel Lily

Beau and Arrow – Brand New Brand

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

If you weren’t around for my last blog entry, we discussed the great and powerful James Patterson. Although the article attempts to refute the claim that Patterson is merely a brand to sell, for argument’s sake, and honesty’s sake, let’s just say it is. I have decided that on my journey to become someone in the publishing world, it might be important for me to start thinking about my own brand, and how I might market myself in the big world. And I came to the conclusion that before anything, I’m gonna need connections. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1) Remember the little boy from Liar Liar? His grandma is my seamstress. I just went to her apartment last week. Total sweetheart.

2) My sister’s in-laws’ family are going to be on Dr. Oz this week! That includes one of my best friends who will be asking a question about mono. Tune in!

3) I once saw Cindy Crawford from far.

4) I have my own blog. At my best friend’s wedding last night, her husband (the groom) asked me what I was writing about in my blog today = loyal fanbase.

Umm, that’s it. Aside from some other close encounters with Hollywood, none of which compare to Cindy Crawford (who I dressed up as in 4th grade, beauty mark and all), I am looking at a pretty short list right here. It’s time to meet new people, and I don’t just mean on the train.

On a more literary note, I went to a book club last week on Colum McCann’s Let the Great World Spin. There were about 30 women, most of whom came in not really loving the book. By the time the book club was over, the consensus did a 180. Everyone needs to discuss what they read once in a while. I command you to. Could possibly be more important than reading it. For argument’s sake, and honesty’s sake, let’s just say it is.

Until Wednesday,

Rachel Lily©

Beau and Arrow – F Train Adventure

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: my train adventure. Let me put all my cards on the table and tell you that I totally bailed out.  A woman smiled as she sat down next to me this morning, fifty-something, black hair made of straw, and book in hand. I thought to myself, she could be the one (the one I spend the rest of my train ride with), but I just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. To my surprise, she spoke to me first instead! I was reading a recent article in The New York Times Magazine about how James Patterson revolutionized the publishing industry, building himself an empire through unconventional marketing strategies.

Turns out this woman read the article, read many of Patterson’s books, read lots of his competitor’s books, was actually on his mailing list, and could talk talk talk for hours (she needed a friend). She was fairly knowledgeable in all things crime-thriller, and she basically said Patterson lost his brilliance when he started churning out 10 books a year. Still, we came to the conclusion that he’s a genius, a millionaire, and he deserves major credit. He is a household brand name, like Marc Jacobs on your bookshelf. He’s had a take in just about every genre and target market and I haven’t read even one book! I did of course see Along Came a Spider, which I discussed with my F Train friend. She said Morgan Freeman wasn’t hot enough to be Alex Cross. Whatev. If anybody has a recommendation feel free to comment (feel free to comment anyway). Oh, and she was reading The Commoner by John Burnam Schwartz, which she said is like Memoirs of a Geisha.

On another note, I called 911 this Valezident’s weekend. I was staying by a friend’s summer house in Jersey with a couple of girls when we heard an unexpected and disturbingly loud bang on the door, the equivalent of “ready or not, here I come.” It was 10:30 PM on Friday night, meaning it was the Sabbath, late, and a 95% chance we could die. We ran to the kitchen, one girl hiding under a blanket in the corner, one looking for a butcher knife, one running around with a blanket on her shoulders like Superwoman in pajamas and yet another yelling out that the door was opening! Before the 911 operator could pick up, we discovered it was only our newly married-friend whose post-wedding occasion was the reason we were in Jersey in the first place. The police came and I apologized for jumping to conclusions (but I wasn’t). Later, my parents told me they were very proud of my instincts (bow, bow). In hindsight, hilarious. In then sight, terrifying. Moral of the story? Never go to Jersey in the winter. That’s my fiasco of the week!

Till next time,

Rachel Lily Benun