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Posts Tagged ‘Twilight’

You’re My Friend Now

Wednesday, September 6th, 2023

Hi everyone!

My name is Beau Swan (iykyk) and I am one of the new interns this Fall at Beaufort!

Do you guys know that TikTok trend where they use the “you’re my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later” audio? If not, click here for a link to my personal favorite example. Anyways, my point is you guys are my friends now, and while I can’t have soft tacos with you guys, I can (and will) share my most interesting facts, thoughts, and opinions (as unprovoked as they might be) with you for the next few months. My very fragile feelings will appreciate if you will put up with me for the short amount of time we have together. 

I just realized we don’t know anything about each other. In order to initiate this newfound friendship, I will tell you guys a little bit about myself…

It all started when my mom met my dad, and they fell in love, and they had me! Hi, I’m Beau Swan, and my life is kind of crazy. I’m just kidding, and for my friends that didn’t get it, that’s just another TikTok reference…I have a little bit of an addiction.

Back to me though, I live in Western New York where I was born and raised. While I may not have moved anywhere different in my lifetime, I do love to travel! I feel like that last sentence makes me sound old. I’m not…at least I hope not. I’m still in my early 20s, so you tell me if I’m old or not. In my defense however, I know how to work both my phone and computer, and I can put my credit card into a pin pad the correct way without a tutorial from the cashier. I just beg that you not ask me what rizz means or if I know a particular trendy dance. The only dance I know is the Cha Cha slide and that’s only because the song tells me exactly what to do. 

Ugh, I keep getting off topic. Some boring facts about myself are that I have my Bachelor’s in English and Creative Writing. I was a double major during my undergrad, but I still [by some miracle] found the time to minor in Business. Right now, I’m working on getting my MFA in Popular Fiction Writing and Publishing at Emerson College. I love to write just as much as I enjoy reading what others write so it’s the perfect program for me! 

I’m so excited to be at Beaufort this Fall! I’m gonna be reading manuscripts, maybe sitting in on some meetings, working on social media stuff, all that good stuff that comes with working in the publishing industry. And occasionally, I will come to rant to you guys about anything that’s on my mind in relation to books. Hope none of my new friends mind!

Your friend,

Beau Swan

From Our Beau House To Yours – My Date With Robert Pattinson

Friday, November 20th, 2009

Today is the movie premiere of The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

I’d like to focus on the film masterpiece hitting cinemas today, which as you know is based on the books by Stephanie Meyer, aka Mormon extroadinaire (and abstinence advocate).

What you all didn’t know about New Moon, is that I feature in the end scene, and spoiler alert, I’m gonna tell you how it ends. Bella (played by underage Stewart) up until now has been vampire Edward’s human interest (played by Pattinson, 23).

(Now I’ve never read Twilight so the scene came from skills I learnt from that Christian-Jewish improv team I saw last year)

Bella Swan, after getting in a motorcycle accident is taken in for surgery and discovers a brain tumor that has impaired her judgment for the last year and a half. Doctors thankfully save her life and she realizes her she’s pining for a vampire, rebounding with a werewolf (played by Taylor Lautner) and has vampire crazies after her. She goes into life long therapy for her fear of new moons and the dark, and later writes a self-improvement memoir about it (that last part appears in a ‘where are they now?’ subtitles at end of movie). All of this worked out, she says in the end, because it enabled her to go to college like a normal person.

Edward, heartbroken (oh wait, he doesn’t have a heart, he’s a vampire!) moves to New York City to drown his sorrows with his powerful original songs. We meet in Washington Square Park where he stumbles over the NYU literary journal The Plague, and (because he so old) thinks the plague is actually back and in America. My character, Sella Bawn, stops him from having an anxiety attack and we fall instantly in love. We go on a date at a Older-Hipsters-Meet-Kristen-Stewart-Aged-Girls-Dating-Service bar in Williamsburg (that’s in Brooklyn where his loft apartment is), at which time he reveals his terrible secret: he’s not a vampire but actually Robert Pattinson, and isn’t love with me, but in a longtime relationship with former co-star Daniel Radcliffe.

The End.

-Nikki-Lee